This concludes the series on eight different ways to begin an article, story, devotional, or book chapter. I have used opening paragraphs from some of my books as examples. Beginnings are very important, and I hope my suggestions will help you craft a good opening paragraph.

6. A Mood is set by using such phrases as: stared out the window, huge chunks of ice, shivered.

Staring out my hotel window on this winter’s day in Washington D.C., I watched huge chunks of ice lazily drift down the Potomac River. I rubbed my arms and shivered—partly from the cold, but mostly from the memory forming in my mind (“Loving Too Little, Loving Too Much,” Rest Stops for Single Mothers).

7. A Question may be asked at the beginning or near the beginning of the story or chapter.

The front door was slammed angrily with a thud. My son stomped down the stairs and out of earshot. Only silence remained.

Why do I fight with my son? My stomach churned as I pondered this question (“A Gentle Attitude,” Rest Stops for Single Mothers).

8. A Quotation may be used to begin a devotional, a story or article, or a book chapter.

He who cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.
–Author Unknown (“Forget and Forgive,” Rest Stops for Single Mothers).

Whatever vehicle you choose, make sure you grab the reader’s attention immediately. Don’t be afraid to jump into the action.

The beginning of an article, story, devotional, or book chapter is very important. You need to grab the editor to get your material published and then grab the reader to have him or her read it. In my last blog, I gave you two suggestions for beginnings. Here are three more.

3. A Thesis is presented by this lead that explains a venture of faith. Also, a metaphor is used comparing stepping out in faith to walking down an unknown path. Antithesis is another vehicle found here with confidence and excitement contrasted with fear, and falling over the edge of a cliff contrasted with being sure-footed.

Stepping out on a venture of faith is like being propelled swiftly down an unknown path in the dark. There is confidence and excitement instead of fear. If the way leads suddenly over the edge of a cliff, faith says the foot will find support if God underwrites the venture (Chapter 3 – Eyes Beyond the Horizon).

4. Presenting a Problem to be solved is an excellent way to begin a story. It reaches out and grabs the reader.

My manager at the telephone company, where I worked as a service representative, called me into his office. “I just received a call from White River, Arizona. Your father didn’t show up at work today, Susan. He is missing. His car was found parked on a mountain road—empty.”

I collapsed into a chair. A small voice inside told me my father was dead (“The Fatal Fall,” Rest Stops for Single Mothers).

5. Dialogue is an excellent vehicle for jumping into the action of a story. Here it is used in conjunction with the presentation of a problem to be solved.

“Mom, I had to abandon my car,” my son’s voice sounded breathless on the other end of the telephone line. “Flames were jumping across the highway. Burning branches fell into the back of my convertible.”

“Are you OK?” I asked (“The Fire,” Rest Stops for Single Mothers).

In my next blog, I will give you three more suggestions for ways to start an article, story, devotional, or book chapter.

There are many ways to begin a book chapter, article, or story. Here are the first two of my eight suggestions, taken from two of my books, Rest Stops for Single Mothers (Broadman & Holman) and Eyes Beyond the Horizon (Thomas Nelson). The types of leads I suggest here can apply for devotionals and other short pieces, fiction and nonfiction stories, articles, and book chapters.

1. Narrative is used here to tell a mini-story from the narrator’s viewpoint. In the example below, you can picture the sail boat catching the wind.

As I scanned the horizon, my eyes focused on a sailboat gliding out of the bay. It cruised smoothly for a moment until the sailor lost the direction of the wind. The mainsail flapped in the breeze, and the boat slowed to a near halt. The man turned the rudder and leaned his craft back into the wind. The sails caught the breeze, and soon the vessel glided swiftly out of the harbor (“Lean into the Wind,” Rest Stops for Single Mothers).

2. Characterization is often used as a lead. This description of Bob Bowman gives the reader an insight into his looks and personality as a teen. The description of the scene transports the reader back to L.A. in the 1930’s.

Pushing the gas pedal against the floorboards, the proud eighteen year old owner of a beat up 1929 Ford sped along a dirt road that transversed dusty bean fields. His brown hair was slicked back with a wave, and his blue eyes stared straight ahead. The acres of weeds stretching before him would someday shudder beneath the ear splitting runway traffic of the vast complex known as Los Angeles International Airport (Chapter 2 – Eyes Beyond the Horizon).

Fair Use is defined as the right to use copyrighted work without permission or without making payment to the owner. Copyright law provides for the fair use of another’s work without infringing on his copyright. How much can you copy from a source and stay within fair use?

The law is designed to be vague. If you are copying a magazine article, you can probably copy a paragraph or two. Also, you can probably copy several paragraphs from a book without infringing on copyright law. Be careful though not to copy the essence of something in the book. Poems and songs can only be copied without paying a high fee if they are in public domain. If a song is currently popular, use only the title. Titles are not copyrightable, but if a book is in print, you cannot title a new one by that name. Capitalize trademarks (Xerox, Kleenex) to avoid problems there or, better yet, use the words “photocopy” or “tissue” instead. For detailed information on copyright law, check that chapter in The Complete Guide to Christian Writing and Speaking available from our website under “books/books on writing.”

Always give the author you are quoting credit for his material, even if you are within fair use and aren’t required to obtain his permission to use it. Cite your source within the text of your article or book or in an endnote.

Beware: 28 Pitfalls to Avoid (Part 7)

Here are pitfalls 25-28. This concludes my blogs, detailing the 28 pitfalls you should be aware of and should try to avoid. Hopefully these tips will help you improve your writing.

25. Watch for Missing Punctuation
Make sure that your commas are in the right places and that none have been left out. Do you have a period or other punctuation at the end of each sentence? A good reference for proper punctuation is Strunk and White’s Elements of Style.

26. Watch for Cumbersome Punctuation
Be careful not to over punctuate with commas. Today we use fewer commas than in the past. Also avoid the overuse of dashes, exclamation points, semi-colons, and colons.

27. Watch for Poor Transitions
Your paragraphs must flow into each other. If the transition seems rough, add an introductory clause or phrase to smooth it out. “After several hours of traveling, we arrived,” or “When we reached Phoenix, we were greeted by our host.”

28. Watch for Telling
Show, don’t tell. On first rough drafts, writers often tell the story in narrative either from an observer’s viewpoint or from the main character’s mind. Both of these locations are boring. Readers want to participate in the action. They want to join in the excitement and experience the events as they are happening.

Be concrete, specific, and definite. Use dialogue, anecdotes, and fictional techniques whether you are writing fiction or nonfiction. When we avoid these twenty-eight pitfalls, we make our writing come alive. This is how we can truly reach our readers and touch their lives.

Here are pitfalls 21-24. Next week you will be given the final pitfalls 25-28 that you will want to watch for. Hopefully these will help you improve your writing so your work can become published.

21. Watch for Adverbs
Instead of using a weak verb and an adverb, use a dynamic verb in the past tense. Instead of “walked slowly,” use “ambled.” By using strong verbs, you can eliminate most adverbs.

22. Watch for Tags
“He said” is a perfectly good tag and can be used often. It is usually better than “he uttered,” “he articulated,” or “he expressed.” What matters is what he said, i.e. the words within the quotation marks. You can use an occasional word like whispered, shouted, or asked, but try to keep your tags in dialogue simple. Sometimes you can eliminate them altogether if it is obvious who is speaking.

23. Watch for Noncommittal Language
Avoid tame, colorless, hesitant, noncommittal language. Try not to use words such as “little,” “so,” “very,” “just,” and most “thats.” Keep your readers interested in what you are saying by the way you say it.

24. Watch for Preachy Words
“Would,” “should,” “could,” “may,” “might,” and “can” should be used sparingly. If you preach to your audience, you will lose them. Jesus didn’t tell people what to do, nor did He use abstract concepts. He spoke in parables. He used anecdotal stories to get His points across to His audience. Try using that same technique.

Here are pitfalls 17-20. Next week you will be given pitfalls 21-24 to avoid. Watch for these pitfalls to help you improve your writing.

17. Watch for “To Be” Verbs
Eliminate weak verbs such as “was,” “were,” “is,” “had,” “have,” “become,” and any form of “to be.” Instead of writing “He is happy,” use “He skipped down the road humming his favorite tune.” Often when you eliminate a “to be” verb, you also get rid of an “ing.” Example: Instead of saying, “The man was ambling down the road,” use “The man ambled down the road.”

18. Watch for Negatives
Write in a positive form. Leaving out negative words makes your writing clearer and more upbeat. Also, negatives are often confusing. Example: Instead of saying, “He was not very often on time,” use “He usually came late.”

19. Watch for Abstract Nouns
Use descriptive nouns. Nouns that are concrete, specific, and definite are best. Instead of “tree,” name a type that describes what you want the reader to see: eucalyptus, magnolia, or aspen.

20. Watch for Adjectives
Adjectives are necessary, but use them as sparingly as possible. An overdone example is: “The thin, narrow black ribbon of highway wound through the velvety, emerald-green dense jungle that lurked on either side of the thin, narrow black ribbon of highway.” Instead say: “The narrow ribbon of highway wound through the dense jungle that lurked on either side.”

Here are pitfalls 13-16. Next week you will be given pitfalls 17-20 to avoid. Watch for these pitfalls to help you improve your writing.

13. Watch for Christian Clichés
Don’t use Christian jargon that pigeonholes you into one market. Examples are: “washed in the blood” or “born-again Christian.” Try to avoid any terms that are not found in the Bible. You will find “born again” in the Bible, but you won’t find “born-again Christian.”

Christianese keeps you from crossing over into denominations other than your own. More importantly, its use keeps you from being effective with non-Christians. Non-Christians will often pick up a Christian magazine or book, especially when they are dealing with a problem. Your writing may be able to reach out and touch these individuals and perhaps bring them to Christ. Write so they can understand your words.

14. Watch for any Clichés or Jargon
Avoid clichés like the plague, and don’t be caught dead using them. They are old hat and will bore your audience to tears. Likewise, don’t use shoptalk or jargon only understood by one segment of the population such as legalese and medical terms.

15. Watch for Humdrum Verbs
Use action verbs. The verb is the most important part of the sentence. It moves the reader along. For instance, look at the dynamic verbs for movement starting with S: Strut, skip, slink, smash, stomp, slither, stumble, stagger, sashay, swagger, step, stalk, straddle, slip, sneak, steal, slide, shadow, stamp, skid, and stride. Aren’t these more exciting than “walk”? Use dynamic, descriptive verbs.

Use onomatopoeia, words that imitate sounds. These are especially effective when writing for children. Young children love to say words that sound like what they are: Splish, splash, whirl, crash, crunch, smash, toot toot, whee whee, growl, and buzz are examples. Plus, they are all dynamic verbs.

16. Watch for Passive Voice
Keep your sentences in the active voice with the subject doing the acting rather than being acted upon. “The car slammed into the man” is more powerful than “The man was hit by the car.” This keeps the readers involved in what is happening.

Here are pitfalls 9 to 12. Next week you will be given pitfalls 13 to 16 to avoid. Hopefully these will help you improve your writing.

9. Watch for Digression
Irrelevant material should be eliminated. Remove needless descriptions of people and places. Ask yourself if a scene is necessary? If not, delete it. Use judgment in deciding which characters should be described and in how much detail, what facts are relevant, and what can be left out.

10. Watch for Put-downs
You don’t want to offend any element of your audience. Flippant remarks stand out. Watch your own personal prejudices regarding race, sex, and age, and try not to let them creep into your writing. Keep your writing broad-based so it will appeal to a wide audience.

11. Watch for Flashbacks
Use flashbacks sparingly, and don’t flashback on flashbacks. They are tricky, and you don’t want to lose your readers. Carefully take the readers back to an exact time and place, then bring them forward with good transitions and perhaps some telescoping narrative (covering a long period of time in few words).

12. Watch for Abstract Words and Concepts
Use concrete words instead of abstract ones. Strangely, you may find it more difficult to write simply, in descriptive concrete terms, than to express complex thoughts. People tend to think in the abstract. Put as much detail and description in as is feasible.

Here are pitfalls five through eight to avoid. Nine to 12 will be given next week. Hopefully these will help you polish your writing.

5. Watch for Monotonous Sentences
Have you ever gone to a boring lecture where the speaker droned on in a monotone? Perhaps it was the lecturer’s tone that put you to sleep. Since your readers can’t hear you, change your tone by varying the length of your sentences. Also vary the structure of your sentences.

6. Watch for Unclear Material
Sentences that don’t flow well can be detected by reading them aloud. Also, have someone else read your manuscript and edit it. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of belonging to a critique group. Form one with local writers in your area and meet regularly.

7. Watch for Incongruities
If you are writing a historical story set during World War II, don’t have the characters watch television. It wasn’t invented yet. Also, many words came into our vocabulary after World War II. Check to see when a word came into use if there is any doubt in your mind.

8. Watch for Loose Ends
Did you drop a character in your story? If you edit out a character or a piece of furniture, don’t let it pop up later. People who aren’t as close to your story as you are will be able to see loose ends better than you will.